Destiny has its own plans.

Since I never wrote any more posts about our struggles after the 4th IVF Stimulation, it is quite evident that it wasn't a success. Sorry for disappointing those of you who were rooting for us :( 

I wouldn't lie that we didn't have high hopes ourselves. When you realize that an era has come to an end and all you are left with is an emptiness within, then that surely isn't the end. Ain't that right?

One thing that we as a couple decided was to "not give up". Technically, we are done and dusted, but we still have options like surrogacy and adoption. Don't we all love being hopeful in one way or the other. That's called "being optimistic, vulnerable and human".

As this is my comeback post on my "Infertility Diaries", I am leaving it as a thought-bubble for you; no smooth touches with my words or formatting. I promise to come back with a post with insights and details, soon enough. Till then, keep hanging in there... with loads of hope!

Last attempt to find a cure for my DH's Azoospermia and Bilateral Varicocele Grade III

After hearing the same advice from Dr. Rupin Shah in Mumbai, we visited a few famous tourist spots, namely Siddhivinayak Temple, Mahalaxmi Temple, Haji Ali, Juhu Chowpati, Colaba Causeway, Gateway of India, Elephanta Caves etc in the rest two and a half days.

Upon our return to Bangalore, DH and I decided to visit one last specialist. We re-visited Dr. A Nagaraj Rao (Professor & Head of Urology Department, St. John Medical College and Hospital, Koramangala, Bangalore) in May'14. He briefly remembered our case history (told to him in Sep'12) and we also updated him about our latest Doctor-Hopping and their conclusions.

His advice was to get a Bilateral Testicular Fine Needle Aspiration Cytology (FNAC) done at Anand Diagnostics, Shivaji Nagar. I do not remember the cost of this test, shall update if I recall. Here's what FNAC procedure is :-

The result of this test would determine whether a Varicocelectomy could be of any help or not. We went ahead with the procedure in May'14 itself. The report was ready after 3 days and here's how it looked :-

 The report came with the studied slide too, for further reference or investigation. 

We went for the review of this report to Dr. Rao. He concluded that although Sertoli cells and Spermatids are seen but occasional; performing another procedure wouldn't change anything or undo the past. At that moment, it seemed to be a dead-lock situation for us; anger, depression, disappointment, fear, frustration, regret were just a few emotions to name which were portraying our state.