Toughest decision: Adoption vs. Donor Sperm

We had had a rough 2-year journey “trying to conceive”. Last few months were the roughest and taking a decision on our way forward wasn’t any easier. Me and my DH, both sat down with a set of pen and paper each. The task was to jot down all the advantages/disadvantages of “Adopting a Baby” versus that of using a “Donor Sperm sample for ADI”.

It was definitely a nerve-wrecking activity. We both took time and reviewed our points several times before starting the debate. I remember keeping those 2 paper pieces in my safe. After a lot of discussion and argument, I had to agree with DH to go ahead with ADI (I am still open to Adoption). I do not understand why our Indian Society is so NOT open to adoption. I guess, the idea is to show off your baby bump to your neighbours, friends and even strangers.

If I can’t have one, why should that stop me from adopting one? After a lot of thinking, I suggested my DH that we could adopt a child and go to another city and live for a year or two and come back with a baby… “Tadaa!!! I delivered while we were away”. DH didn’t approve such a brilliant idea.

DH said if our child can’t have his chromosomes, at least it should have mine. Well, my point was (still is), if it ain’t Yours’ then let’s make one adopted child as ours (not by chromosomes but by characteristics). It will still be Ours’. Unfortunately, I couldn’t win this argument with my DH and had to give in.

We took this decision in May’14 and visited MHB at the start of my next menstrual cycle for IUI.

Next step, visiting Donor Sperm Bank for IUI-1 planned for July/Aug’14.